We have established that we are bom with a ruthless will to live, that we are all egocentric beings of self interest and that our purpose in reciprocity with others is for personal gain.

Surely this is a picture of the attributes required for a devouring and self destroying society. Then is there anything that can save mankind from a rapid termination of our civilization? Yes indeed there is. Our social inclinations compel us to preserve our fellows and our environment for our own comfort and personal gain.

Balancing self preservation, our egocentric qualities and our willingness to reciprocate for personal gain is the social part of our make up. It has to do with support and stimulation. Dr. D. Morris tells us in "The Naked Ape" that just like the chimpanzees, we like to be groomed, and groom others. We enjoy continually to touch and be touched by society in a friendly, accepting and caring way. Could we say, to love and be loved7 Some may prefer to call love "an emotion of caring". It is another side of the human law of reciprocity, working to supply our needs. We are social creatures to the very core of our beings.

Richard Leakey and Roger Lewin in "Origins" state "Above all else we human beings are social animals, emotionally we need to be part of a group, and intellectually we are equipped to understand and manipulate interaction with other people, whether parochially as in personal relations, or politically."

We can see how this works in the minimum social nir of two persons. My wife and I like to cuddle each i [ appreciate her physical warmth and personality ind gain restful stimulation for myself from the contact.I cannot experience this gain alone. My wife also experiences my physical warmth and personality and pains restful stimulation. To make this personal gain, I must give personal gain to another, in this case my wife. The minimum society of our home is built on personal gain through giving personal gain to the other. Indeed what hurts my wife, hurts me and causes me persona! loss,

Of course we don't say to each other "If I give you [his, will you return it thus," We give spontaneously and without measure because we enjoy each other. The enjoyment of the one becomes the satisfaction of the other. Over the years, this giving and receiving of caring enters every facet of our lives together and creates a well ordered, restful and secure mini-culture. We become immediately involved emotionally in the needs of others. It is a society of caring not from a sense of duty, compulsion or demand, but a natural response to self caring and self interest.

We should accept the concept that our basic nature is self orientated and wholesome and cease condemning it or feel it as a liability or encumbrance. Our basic humanness is based on self expression and social interchange for personal gain.

As we accept our basic human drives and cease condemning them, we can build a culture of loving others and accept love from others to our mutual well being. Our national culture is built up of the multiplicity of the mini-cultures established in the homes and persons of the nation.

Occasionally we meet egocentrism un-tempered with a social inclination. People who ruthlessly and without caring ride rough shod over the interests and humanism of others for self gain, bring social rejection and ultimately loss to the perpetrators. The interest of the individual and the interests of the society are two

sides of one penny, each necessary to a balanced human expression.

But let us not be carried away with the idea that adults cannot live without social grooming and approval. Many remove themselves for long periods of rime from contact with their fellow man. Others while still living in the community, cut themselves off from human grooming and caring- To various degrees they emotionally remove themselves from loving and accepting love. They show symptoms of emotional disorder.

What we are talking about is the development of a full and happy human experience, and as such the social inclination is necessary to achieving a harmonious and happy personality.

Life is not a static thing- When survival is assured, life is continually thrusting, pushing out in all directions to express itself in feelings and experience. We need, as it were, to roll life under our tongue like a sweet morsel, to enjoy its sweet and sour flavour in all its vicissitudes. This does not mean that we need to abuse others or impinge on cultural behavioural standards. There is plenty of room to push, feel and experience life without being anti-social. The two sides of us, our egocentric character and our socially inclined nature, are not in opposition to each other, one does not operate at the expense of the other. They are complementary sides, extending the potentiality of our whole life experience.

The more I meet people the more I am aware that i mature experienced person is characterised not onlv by a strong personal self preservation and self motivation but also kindness, understanding, tolerance and social integration. He develops a caring for the environment and the society he lives in.

OUR BASIC CONCEPTS

1. I was bom with a ruthless will to live which gives

me a right to the concept of self interest and preservation. Each other person has the same right.

2. I am an egotistic person with self determined interests.

3. My humanness benefits by equal reciprocation with other humans for personal gain.

4. I am a socially inclined animal capable of loving and accepting love.

Let us accept that these are part of our basic natural human elements with which we were bum. Each person has all these qualities. Some may have been disciplined to reject, at least in part, a few of our social inclinations. Starting from the concept of these four human elements which we possess in varying degrees, we move forward toward the individualisation of our personalities.

It is as though each of us was given an already completed foundation of basic human inclinations, the size and shape being in accordance with our inherited genes, health and temperament. We are also given a great amount and variety of building material and many helpers who have various ideas of what ought and ought not to be built. We start off by having our parents, friends and teachers doing most of the building for us. Gradually we take over the completion or alteration of our own personality structure which others have started. We end up with a highly individual structure of which we may be proud or thoroughly unhappy.

The structure which has been built, is not only personally owned and lived in, it demonstrates our attitude and expression of life. We can and should cease accepting building instructions from others and become our own architect, rebuilding to our own satisfaction. One thing is certain however, we cannot discard the original foundation of our humanness.

The next chapter considers some of the conditions which unconsciously affect our early responses to our environment and influence the building of our structure of self.