I am sure that like everyone else, we want happiness, love and friendship for all of life. A famous philosopher, Jeremy Bentham (I748-I832) said that happiness is the only thing desirable as an end. All other things are only desirable as a means to that end. I think Bentham was largely right, we all seek happiness as an end. Money, a lovely wife or husband, a fine house, a good car, holidays overseas and other things are only desirable as a means to gain happiness.

The purpose of this small thesis is to discuss how we can achieve happiness in a world that often seems to be hostile and uncaring. In doing so we will talk about how to win friends, to be a good influence in the family and the broader society.

Our identity runs in a continuum from our personal expression to our social position We each belong to a race, a country, an occupation, a group of friends and a family. Yet, most importantly, each of us is a unique individual. At base, we have a personal identity. We have choices and are an influence in the society we keep. Our evaluation of ourselves has a bearing on our social relationships and individual happiness. We can learn ways of increasing our social successes. We human creatures are intensely social animals. We all need each other to achieve our purpose. We communicate together, work together and play together. As a species, we love to create smaller groups or clubs within the larger community. There are clubs and societies for almost all our various interests and activities from sports clubs to religious gatherings, musical groups, intellectual, professional and many others. They are centred on at least one of a great variety of interesting activities.

Our social quality is displayed when we meet others. Most people are willing to help and be friendly to complete strangers. Someone gets lost in the bush or hills and others volunteer to form a search party. Put a pack on your back and walk about our suburbs, as we have done. Many people, as they pass by will say "Good morning". Someone may think you are a visitor and invite you into their home for a cup of tea and a chat. Sit on the beach under an umbrella with your family and don't be surprised if a complete stranger comes up to you and asks you to mind a watch or purse while s/he is swimming,

The reason for this is that society functions on co-operation, trust, friendliness and reconciliation. Without these things society would fall apart. Both the need and the desire are part of human nature. We are bom with an inner need and enjoyment of people contact, A strong adhesive of society is our natural inclination to cooperate with other human beings.

These things confirm our natural innate social quality which is deeply a part of each of us. This social imperative is bom within all humankind without exception. Dolphins, birds, monkeys and other creatures can make various sounds and gestures which have meanings that their own kind can understand. Humans are the only animals who have a vast array of spoken words to convey creative ideas and complicated concepts. We can read and leam from history of other people's research and knowledge about all manner of things. We have a tremendous ability to talk together, to understand and communicate deeply held personal ideas, joys, fears, memories and experiences. Yes, undoubtedly we are social animals with many unique social abilities.

Many seem to feel that culture should take all the credit for human virtue. I strongly disagree- Culture is learned by intentional teaching, imitation and trial and error. Culture has many faces, is complex, alterable and is driven by reason, tradition or choice. There are antisocial cultures including gangs; prison cultures and inhuman cultures such as Nazism, and there are some cultures which engender hatred of other races. There is an old saying that racial hatred is taught to children of six and seven or eight. That is anti-social culture at work. Indeed very young children accept each other regardless of colour or race There are good cultures and bad cultures. Some teach tolerance, others power and domination. But culture does have a powerful influence for good or bad. Culture is strongly influenced by the race and society we live within, the pressures of power, greed, property rights, and religious beliefs. But that is different from our inborn social imperative. We should not confuse culture with our inborn social quality,

There is a universal human social inclination toward others which is found in every race of people regardless of culture. Even antisocial people experience social accord amongst their own kind. At times, they all express love, tenderness and all the other human social virtues.

Nicky Hayes tells us in "Psychology in

Perspective" (page I37) "If humankind were naturally aggressive, they would hardly need the massive propaganda machine which is involved in any war. In fact, just look around you and you will find that human beings, by and large, tend to try very hard to avoid aggressive confrontation.,, (page I56) Indeed by the time we come to look at human infants, we find that their most striking predispositions are toward sociability. The human infant seems to be born preprogrammed to respond to other human beings".

The idea that aggression was an innate part of human nature and therefore unavoidable, was promoted by a respected social biologist Konrad Lorenz, The idea had a strong influence at that time. Later I learnt that Lorenz was an Austrian member of the Nazi movement and supported Hitler in seeking to exterminate the Jewish race. He was trying to legitimise Nazi aggression. Marvin Harris in his book "Culture, People, Nature" (page 65) when talking about Dr. Lorenz's ideas on aggression says "Nothing could be more misleading than to attribute human sexual dominance, aggression, homicide and war to instinctual mechanisms."

Richard Leakey is a well respected paleontologist. His life has been devoted to the research of ancient fossilised human bones. He is adamant that "there is no evidence of frequent violence or warfare in human prehistory until after about ten thousand years ago." He tells us "contrary to much popular wisdom, the human species is not unswervingly aggressive, no genetically driven to violence......Humans

do not inarch in lockstep to the demands of aggressive genes. Our behaviour as a species is complex, always shaped by cultural context and always amenable to choice, to free will...... We argue that evolutionary

history has endowed our species with an inclination to co-operate..... Much of the conflict in the world can be

traced to materialism and cultural misunderstanding, not to our biological nature.....we are not driven by some

kind of inner demon to fight one another..,. We have choices in the matter and a responsibility." Quoted from "Origins Reconsidered" by Richard Leakey and Roger Lewin(I992».

We carry a capacity for aggression and evil but it is not an unavoidable part of us. The reason I say this is that we do not have an irresistible need to continually do evil, we have choices. Aggression and anger are always responses to situations. When people become antisocial we know that there always is some other factor involved.

Evil ways are promoted by antisocial cultures and our reactions to personal hurts and impingement. There is a dark side to us which can be aroused when attacked or given enough frustration. We have the capacity to become violent and destructive on occasions but we do have choices, we can live without violence and many do,

Our social quality is an abiding character and basic to all humankind. We are certainly bom with a need to participate in social experience. I regard this as a part of our innate nature. The way we express our social nature is by the use of social acts such as co-operation, trust, consideration, goodwill, compassion, honesty and love. They become tools whereby we can achieve social accord and happiness,

So often we fumble along with little knowledge of how to gain personal happiness. Our modem technical knowledge and advancements have far outstripped our understanding of ourselves and the society we live among. Technology has developed complicated and extensive means of communication. Today we can pick up a telephone and talk to friends or business associates almost anywhere in the world. As an animal species, our abilities and research about all manner of things is vast and unique. We have so many avenues of expression open to us which we can use to build social relationships.

As mentioned elsewhere, someone who wanted to know the best way to live, asked Confucius (55I-497 B.C.) for a simple principle which could be used for all of life. He replied "perhaps the word is consideration. Do not do to others what you would not desire them to do to you," I don't know if Confucius was the originator of this Golden Rule. It is likely that he was merelyrepeating a still more ancient maxim of social behaviour.

By the time of Jesus, 500 years later, this gem of folk wisdom had been changed to become "Do unto others that which you would wish them to do unto you." The difference may seem slight but it is important, I may not be pleased if what you want, is not what I would like done to me. So I like the Golden Rule as presented by Confucius which does not assume what my wishes might be and puts no pressure on me.

Social ethics has always been the glue which binds people into communities. Manuscripts found in ancient Egypt dating back almost four thousand years, tell us of human kindness and neighbourly caring which could be called social ethics. One such statement inscribed on the tomb ofNefer Sekhem, a court official, has this to say. "I judge the cases of two partners until they are satisfied, I rescue the wretched from he who is more powerful. In so far as I am able, I give bread to the hungry, clothes to the naked. I brought a stranded man to land. I buried him who had no son, I made a boat for him who had no boat, I feared my father, I was gracious to my mother." Kindness and social accord have always been part of human experience.

Some seem to think that it could be a hard and boring task to live an ethical social life in harmony with our fellows. The fact is quite the reverse. Social ethics bring great rewards to the person who lives that way. Indeed, it adds to our whole expression and enjoyment of life. It is doing what comes naturally to us because we are, by nature, social animals who enjoy happy relationships with our fellow humans. There are serious blockages which can hinder participation in social accord, blockages like anger and frustration that can destroy social ties, but that is another subject.