Bruce and I designed a block of four two-bedroom units for a residential section I had at Mt. Wellington. I gave Ruth a unit fully equipped, carpeted and free of debt and I paid her the legally agreed weekly maintenance contribution which was the usual practice in those days.

Since all those years ago I have never criticised or blamed Ruth. As Vahram used to say "None of us has a monopoly of good or bad". We are all just normal human beings who are beautiful most of the time. Perhaps it would be better to say that I had started on a new path of personal growth and that Ruth and I had grown apart

Later Ruth sold her unit and went overseas for some time. By the time she came back and had remarried, inflation had reduced her asset to the extent that she could not afford to buy a property. Vic came to me and asked for help. I offered her a life interest in a two bedroom unit I owned at Pakuranga. The property was transferred into the name of my company. Ruth took over the mortgage using the money she had left over from the sale of her previous unit. She then had a place to live and no rent to pay.

When my marriage broke up I moved out from Temple St. to a very small flat in Remuera Rd. where I stayed for twenty months. I formed a new relationship with Elaine Robinson and eventually married her. Elaine had recently returned from England where she had gone for a holiday but stayed and worked for six years. Her training was secretarial and her religion was Catholic. I was very impressed when I met her. We got on so very well together. Our relationship was not rushed. The more we saw of each other, the more our mutual respect and affection developed. I read a couple of Catholic theology books and was amazed that, in essence, their teaching was very similar to my own early training. There was the same fear of punishment in a hereafter; the same demand for obedience and submission to God and a blind faith in a doctrine which was not so different from the doctrine taught to me. My parents would have been horrified at my choice of a Catholic partner but I am sure they would have come to love her. To them Catholics were not 'saved' and therefore were on their way to an eternal Hell.

Elaine and I spent a lot of time talking about religion and philosophy. She expressed her own doubts and fears about the pressures with which her religious training and education had burdened her. She was able to discard it all in much the same way as I had done. We have both reached an inner harmony and peace, which is deep, secure and beautiful. It is also devoid of religion. Looking back for over thirty years together we have never made personal criticisms of each other. There has been constant support, loyalty and goodwill in all of our relationship. It adds up to total acceptance of each other thus contributing to our unity and mutual adventure along the path of happiness. I am convinced that personal criticism of one's partner is very damaging to any relationship.

Cooper Equipment Ltd. bought a piece of industrial land at Neilson St, Penrose. I had ideas of creating an estate which would give security to my whole family. There was an old army shed on the land which served as a temporary factory. The section was uneven rock. Blasting and heavy machinery levelled the land ready for moving the shed to the back corner. Now we could proceed to build a permanent factory for ourselves. We would only require the second story portion on the front of the building. Ten thousand square feet of extra space was leased before the building was finished. There was a finishing date to enable our tenant to move in.

I was inspecting some of the work when I was called to the phone. The manager of Clarke and Matheson Ltd. told me that my brother Edwin had died of a heart attack about an hour earlier. That news hit me like a body blow which made me stop and think. What was I doing with my life? I was the only remaining member of my parents' family. My mother and father had died at a comparatively young age. Now my brother had passed away a day before his 52nd. birthday. The average age of the three of them was only 59 years. Did I want to be a rich man in the cemetery? Straightaway I decided that I would retire as soon as I reasonably could. It eventually took a few years to achieve- In time, the Neilson St. property was sold and a smaller investment was made.

I built two units of two bedrooms each in Snell Place, Pakuranga, where Elaine joined me- We lived in one for over six years and let the other one. It is very apparent to the family and friends that Elaine and I have enjoyed a very happy life together. Sometimes we are asked to express the secrets which have led to this happy state,

There are, of course, many facets to a relationship. I think it fair to say that from the beginning, Elaine and I were both determined to make the relationship work well. Perhaps one of the most important habits we developed and maintained at all times was goodwill.

We talked about patterns of living and established ground rules before living together. Neither would be the servant of the other. We had some similar and some different interests, but both had the same goals which were, to achieve contentment, inner satisfaction and personal growth. Our life was to become a mutual adventure of respect, trust, loyalty and most importantly, open communication,

The usual habit of communication is to place importance on what one says to one's partner, to argue, and convert the other over to one's own ideas. We discovered that it is far better to place the emphasis on listening. Only by sitting down and listening carefully to how the other deeply feels and reacts about the situation can we fully understand and appreciate each other's point of View. By understanding and goodwill, we discovered that there is never a need for personal criticism of each other. Criticising does not really help a situation in any case.

I was keen about sailing but Elaine had had very little experience of boats and found the heeling of a yacht un-nerving. One morning she woke up and said "I am going to Penny Whiting's Sailing School for Women to learn sailing" and she did. That was a turning point for her. She now felt she could control the boat instead of the boat controlling her. The result was that we had many years of very enjoyable cruising the north eastern coast of New Zealand,

Elaine decided to go to Auckland University to study for a degree in Anthropology specialising in Archaeology. I often sat in on lectures and almost always joined in field trips. The result was that I learned a great deal and became very interested in her subject-Elaine got her degree and I did a stage two paper on religious studies. In both sailing and study we were able to enjoy each others interests in a meaningful manner and thus increase our mutual life experience. All of this cooperation has led us to an ever-increasing bond of love and consideration that has lasted over thirty years so far-

Ross completed his schooling and took up an apprenticeship with Dolph Schloffel as a watchmaker. He formed a warm friendship with Dolph and his wife which he still maintains after ail these years. Ross came to live with Elaine and me for a couple of years before moving to his own flat and then going overseas for three or four years. We were using both of our bedrooms, so we parked a small caravan behind the carport and ran an electric lead for lighting. Ross slept in the caravan. He was always good with his hands and has done very well in his own business.

I have never worried about Ross, he has always had a good sense of self preservation. I knew that during all his travels he would contact me if and when he felt the need. Ross married an attractive Australian young lady. Kerrie has contributed fully in the success of the family and business. They have created a beautiful home and a family of two lovely and bright boys, Gavin and Daniel.

While Elaine was working for Fletchers as secretary to the manager of the Pakuranga Town Centre, I persuaded her to buy a section of land. She borrowed some money from her mother, arranged a mortgage from the A.S.B. and a second mortgage from the B.N.Z. Bruce was engaged to build two units of two bedrooms each. I became clerk of works. These units have given Elaine a sense of independence and an income which has been very important to her over the years.

Bruce built a new home for us at Bucklands Beach, which gives us a marvellous View of the bay. From our living room window we could see our yacht swinging on its mooring. We could leave the car locked up in the garage and walk down to the dinghy in three minutes,

I had ordered an eleven metre keel yacht from John Lidgard, Its dead weight was about eight and a half tons. The arrangement was that John would build all the exterior of the boat and move it out of the shed onto his yard. I could then complete the interior. I had free use of his machinery. For seven months I went out there almost every day and finally completed 'Tearangi' ready for launching. That was the beginning of my retirement although I did go back to work later for a while. I cannot speak too highly of John Lidgard and his wife Heather. His advice was always valuable and freely given.

Our yacht 'Tearangi' (clear skies) gave us a great deal of pleasure during the seventeen years we owned it. We sailed down to see Elaine's brother John and family at Tauranga several times. It was always fun to set off from Auckland, head out past Waiheke Island to the Great Barrier Island for the first leg. Then we would sail down the eastern side of the Coromandel to Mercury Island. The next leg would usually take us south to Whangamata or we might call into Whitianga for a day or two before heading down to Tauranga.

The furthest North we sailed was thirty miles south of the tip of New Zealand. Auckland has one of the best sailing stretches of water in the world. It has many islands and scores of safe harbours. One of our favourite destinations was the Bay of Islands, We would usually spend several days sailing up or down and spending time in some of the beautiful bays. There were many other interesting places such as the western side of the Coromandel, Kawau Island or around Waiheke Island. The sea was always interesting and alive. Dolphins would often swim up and keep pace all around the boat, Penguins, gannets and many other sea birds always fascinated us.

It was a lovely day. We were sailing at over ten knots with the sails spread to port and starboard before a strong following wind. A whisker pole from one of the shrouds kept the genoa steady. All of a sudden the tie broke and the whisker pole fell into the water. "Let's do man overboard drill" one of us cried. In a heaving sea it is very easy to lose sight of a two metre pole bobbing in the water. We gibed quickly and came around to within a short distance of our pole but not quite enough to retrieve it. I was pleased. If that pole had been me, a couple of strokes would have brought me safely to the side of the boat. I fumed on the motor and came around a second time and picked up our pole. Now we had to reset the sails and continue our journey. We could do that without the motor so it was switched off,

I went forward to release the ropes which had become tangled around an air vent and discovered that a shackle had become undone. I picked up the rope and its half shackle with my right hand and firmly grabbed the clew of the sail (the lower aft comer) with my left, I was poised within an inch of fastening the shackle when suddenly in a fraction of a second I was being propelled from the port to the starboard side of the boat. I knew I was going to be hurtled into the water but that did not worry me, I still had an iron grip on the clew. The motion of the sail swung me overboard. So I hit my right shoulder with considerable force on the starboard bow just above the waterline. My left foot had tangled with the staunchion safety wires. Here I was hanging outside the boat with my left foot trapped above deck height, a firm left hand grip on the sail and yelling for help. Elaine left the helm and came forward. Immediately, like any well balanced boat without a helmsman, the boat began to turn into the wind. As we swung around, the bow dipped heavily into the clear blue sea. I held my breath as I was completely immersed in the sea except for one hand and my left ankle. I knew I was safe, I would surface as the boat came about- To release me from the wire over the top of my left foot which had trapped me Elaine had to drag me over the top of the safety wires.